today it’s back to reality: its time for school. boo. between organic chemistry and biology this year, it’s gonna be a rough one. and I’m not 100% sure I’m ready.
washington square park tonight.
today was difficult for me. i had a really hard time leaving to go back to school. since i started college in nyc i’ve had a love/hate relationship with the city and pursuing a degree at nyu. i love the vibrancy of the place. i love some of the unique opportunities living there has given me (i mean, who else can celebrate finishing spring finals by seeing the alexander mcqueen exhibit at the met?). new york city is a beautiful place and i really do like living there. its just sometimes, well, it’s not easy.
from last winter when i saw gossip girl being filmed a block from my dorm
in fact, sometimes its really hard. moving back and forth is a real pain. when im at school i miss my mom and dog so much its painful at times. i also just like the quietness and familiarity of home.and sometimes, I enjoy looking up and seeing stars and hearing silence.
although you can find some peace and quiet in the beautiful west village
anyways, another thing I feel like I’m missing out on is, well, college. nyu has no real campus. there is no union. no big football games. greek life is negligible. compared to when I visit friends at big 10 schools, it just feels, well, strange. like i’m away at learning camp in the most chaotic city in the states.
overlooking the hudson
but the city and school has done a lot for me. as i sit on the plane nyu bound i cant help but reflect on how much ive changed since i moved in last fall as a freshman. my dad had suddenly and unexpectedly died a mere two months before i left to move half-way across the country to a city i knew almost nothing about and to start college. my major depressive disorder was at its absolute worst and I was not myself for a very long time. things got better over time, but i had a hard time making friends and most of the time I felt lost and isolated yet always surrounded by a million people. I was miserable. nyc truly did force me to grow up in a new york minute. there was no more whining for someone to help me navigate the subway or carry two 50-lb luggage bags to the bus station and to the airport. I really learned how to suck it up and deal.
nyu strawberry fest...it was nuts!
I also found my passion at nyu. I was totally unsure which route I wanted to go for schooling and second semester I was totally hooked on / inspired by my child & adolescent psychopathology class from day one. I have never been more academically interested or passionate about anything and this department of nyu is truly outstanding. Ive gotten some great research opportunities last semester and have been asked back to help with a year long adhd study, which I’m very very excited about.
the city has also turned me onto some amazing food. for example…
le pain quotidien...an organic/natural chain of cafes that are mindblowing.
restaurants. frozen yogurt. cupcakes. foreign markets. farmers markets. outstanding grocery stores. oh man, I could go on for hours… but I’m hoping to build this up in my newly launched ‘nyc restaurant reviews’ tab, above.
so while i’m still not 100% sold on nyu, I’m going to give it another chance. once I’m back in the swing of school hopefully things will get better. and if not, transferring is one (big hassle of an application) away. for now, I’m off to unpack and meet up with some amazing friends I haven’t seen in a few months. enjoy your weekend !
how did you know your college was right for you? did you "just know" ?
should i give it more time?