Friday, September 2, 2011

back in the city.

today it’s back to reality: its time for school. boo. between organic chemistry and biology this year, it’s gonna be a rough one. and I’m not 100% sure I’m ready.

washington square park tonight.

today was difficult for me. i had a really hard time leaving to go back to school. since i started college in nyc i’ve had a love/hate relationship with the city and pursuing a degree at nyu. i love the vibrancy of the place. i love some of the unique opportunities living there has given me (i mean, who else can celebrate finishing spring finals by seeing the alexander mcqueen exhibit at the met?). new york city is a beautiful place and i really do like living there. its just sometimes, well, it’s not easy.

 from last winter when i saw gossip girl being filmed a block from my dorm

in fact, sometimes its really hard. moving back and forth is a real pain. when im at school i miss my mom and dog so much its painful at times. i also just like the quietness and familiarity of home.and sometimes, I  enjoy looking up and seeing stars and hearing silence.

 although you can find some peace and quiet in the beautiful west village

anyways, another thing I feel like I’m missing out on is, well, college.  nyu has no real campus. there is no union. no big football games. greek life is negligible. compared to when I visit friends at big 10 schools, it just feels, well, strange. like i’m away at learning camp in the most chaotic city in the states.

 overlooking the hudson

but the city and school has done a lot for me. as i sit on the plane nyu bound i cant help but reflect on how much ive changed since i moved in last fall as a freshman. my dad had suddenly and  unexpectedly died a mere two months before i left to move half-way across the country to a city i knew almost nothing about and to start college. my major depressive disorder was at its absolute worst and I was not myself for a very long time. things got better over time, but i had a hard time making friends and most of the time I felt lost and isolated yet always surrounded by a million people. I was miserable.  nyc truly did force me to grow up in a new york minute. there was no more whining for someone to help me navigate the subway or carry two 50-lb luggage bags to the bus station and to the airport. I really learned how to suck it up and deal.

 nyu strawberry was nuts!

I also found my passion at nyu. I was totally unsure which route I wanted to go for schooling and second semester I was totally hooked on / inspired by my child & adolescent psychopathology class from day one. I have never been more academically interested or passionate about anything and this department of nyu is truly outstanding. Ive gotten some great research opportunities last semester and have been asked back to help with a year long adhd study, which I’m very very excited about.

the city has also turned me onto some amazing food. for example…

 le pain organic/natural chain of cafes that are mindblowing.




 restaurants. frozen yogurt. cupcakes. foreign markets. farmers markets. outstanding grocery stores. oh man, I could go on for hours… but I’m hoping to build this up in my newly launched ‘nyc restaurant reviews’ tab, above.

so while i’m still not 100% sold on nyu, I’m going to give it another chance. once I’m back in the swing of school hopefully things will get better. and if not, transferring is one (big hassle of an application) away. for now, I’m off to unpack and meet up with some amazing friends I haven’t seen in a few months. enjoy your weekend !

how did you know your college was right for you? did you "just know" ?
should i give it more time?


  1. Hang in there girl! I can totally relate! I like what I'm learning in my university program, but I'm not 100% sold on the community. Actually, I'm 100% sure it's not right for me. I have maybe 2-3 friends in my three years of study so far, and the female to male ratio in my classes is legit around 4:50. It's kind of ridiculously impossible to make friends! Also I commute from home, so I don't meet any one in residences or anything.

    Although I'm not a fan of the community, I new I enjoyed what I was learning, and I can say that I am glad I stuck through it! :)

  2. I think I get how you're feeling. I went to Uni in London and because my uni was so big there was never any true campus style college vibe because we had buildings all over the capital. It can be quite a lonely place at first. I was very homesick for the first term but then I got a good group of friends who turned into my surrogate family. After that initial blip I loved london for 7 years and still miss it now that I've moved away. You've done amazingly well to cope with the loss of your dad and then 2 months later move to the busiest city on Earth! Keep going, it's an experience you'll never forget!

  3. thank you both for your encouragement!

  4. It's a myth that it's supposed to "feel right" and there's like some sort of true love version of a college out there for everyone. Keep at it. You're wonderful. I'm drunk which explains why I am being so nice but I'm enjoying reading yer thoughts and wish I was able to be a lil more of a friend. You're great, have a great semester!